Our recent leadership cohort client group had just completed their CliftonStrengths profiling as part of their professional development. Wanting to better understand the framework and the conversations we’d be having together, I decided to complete my own assessment for the first time.

One of the unexpected gifts of this experience was the reminder to stay curious about tools like CliftonStrengths and other self-awareness tools.

While no assessment can fully define who we are, they can offer valuable insights into the talents, motivations and patterns that shape how we show up in the world.

Sometimes they help us understand why certain roles, careers or ways of working feel so energising and natural. Other times, they highlight opportunities for growth or strengths we’ve been overlooking.

My top five strengths are:
– Individualisation
– Empathy
– Connectedness
– Developer
– Arranger

At first glance, I wasn’t entirely sure what to make of them. Especially Individualisation as number one. But as I started reading the descriptions and digging deeper into the behaviours and traits behind each strength, something clicked.

These strengths were describing the “Why” for me. Why I feel the fit of the work I do. Why it motivates and energises me.

Individualisation – seeing people for who they truly are, recognising their uniqueness and potential.

Empathy – understanding what others may be experiencing and meeting them where they are.

Connectedness – helping people see the bigger picture and the impact of their actions.

Developer – believing in growth and patiently supporting people as they discover what’s possible.

Arranger – bringing together complexity, people and experiences in ways that create clarity and momentum.

As I reflected on each strength, I realised how naturally they show up in my work as a leadership and team development coach. And even more so with the assistance of my four-legged co-coaches.

Horses have an incredible ability to cut through titles, roles and carefully prepared answers. They respond to authenticity, awareness and presence. They create immediate feedback and profound learning opportunities that help people better understand themselves and their impact on others.

Reading through my strengths felt less like receiving a personality profile and more like seeing my vocation reflected back to me.

It gave language to why I’m so passionate about helping leaders and teams grow through equine assisted experiences.

It reminded me that the work we are drawn to often aligns with the strengths that not only feel most natural to us, but that we develop and grow into throughout our journey.

There’s a subtle but powerful difference between “feel the fear and do it anyway” and “fake it ’til you make it.” On the surface, they can look similar—both involve stepping forward when you don’t feel fully ready. But underneath, they come from very different places. And in equine assisted leadership, horses make that difference impossible to hide.

The two mindsets: courage vs performance

When we feel the fear and do it anyway, we’re acknowledging what’s real. There’s honesty in it. My heart might be racing, my confidence might be shaky, but I’m still choosing to step forward. It’s courage rooted in self-awareness.

When we fake it ’til we make it, we’re often doing something else entirely. We’re putting on a mask—trying to project certainty, confidence, or authority that we don’t actually feel. It’s less about growth and more about performance. And that performance can come at a cost.

Why the difference matters in leadership

For newly promoted or emerging leaders, this distinction is critical.

Stepping into leadership for the first time can feel like standing on unfamiliar ground. You’re expected to guide others, make decisions, and hold space—all while still figuring out your own footing. It’s completely natural for fear, doubt, or uncertainty to show up.

The temptation is to hide that. To “look the part.” To act confident even when you don’t feel it.

But here’s the thing: people can often sense when something isn’t quite aligned. And horses? They don’t just sense it—they respond to it immediately.

Horses and congruence

In equine assisted leadership, we talk a lot about congruence—the alignment between what’s happening inside us and what we’re expressing on the outside.

Horses are incredibly attuned to this. As prey animals, their survival depends on accurately reading subtle cues in their environment. They don’t listen to our words—they read our energy, our body language, our intention.

If I walk into the space trying to fake confidence while internally feeling anxious or unsure, a horse will pick up on the inconsistency. My body might say one thing, but my energy says another. To the horse, that’s unclear… and potentially unsafe. The result? They might hesitate, move away, or simply disengage.

But if I walk in feeling the fear and doing it anyway, something different happens. Even if I’m nervous, there’s honesty and alignment in my presence. My internal state matches my external expression. That’s congruence—and horses respond to it with trust.

Authenticity builds trust

This is where the real leadership lesson sits.

Leadership isn’t about having it all together. It’s about being real, grounded, and clear—even when things feel uncertain.

When you acknowledge your fear but still step forward:

• Your communication becomes clearer
• Your presence becomes more grounded
• Your team feels safer to be honest themselves

When you fake it:

• Your energy becomes inconsistent
• People (and horses) sense the disconnect
• Trust erodes, even if no one can quite name why

A different kind of confidence

What equine assisted leadership teaches us is that confidence doesn’t come from pretending—it comes from alignment.

It’s the quiet confidence of:

• Knowing what you’re feeling
• Being honest about it (at least with yourself)
• Choosing intentional action anyway

That’s a very different foundation than putting on a confident front and hoping no one notices what’s underneath.

For emerging leaders

If you’re new to a leadership role, it’s worth asking yourself:

Am I trying to look confident, or am I willing to be real?

Because the leaders who create the most impact aren’t the ones who never feel fear. They’re the ones who build the capacity to stay present with it—and lead anyway.

And if you ever doubt whether the difference matters, spend some time in the arena.

The horses will show you.

They always do.

Patrick Lencioni once said, “The absence of vulnerability… that’s where it starts. Everything else—the lack of conflict, the false harmony, the slow decisions—flows from that.”

When I read this quote, it hit me as an “aha” moment—not because it was surprising, but because it was so familiar. I’ve seen it play out again and again in executive teams: smart, experienced leaders who’ve forgotten that leadership is meant to be noble, not cool; grounded, not guarded; responsible, not rewarded. And when that sense of responsibility fades, the first thing to evaporate is vulnerability.

And that’s exactly where the horses come in. Horses simply don’t buy your leadership persona.

In equine assisted leadership development, we always brief our clients with: to learn from horses, you need to be both brave and vulnerable. Horses respond to the real you, not the version you’ve polished for boardrooms and strategy off-sites.

There’s no hiding, no spin, no “I’ll deal with that later.”

A horse can tell immediately whether you’re congruent, whether you’re present, whether your energy matches your intention. And if it doesn’t? They’ll show you. Gently, honestly, and without judgement—but unmistakably.

It’s confronting. Sometimes you won’t like what you see.

But it’s real. And that makes it a turning point.

Lencioni is right: vulnerability is the starting point. Without it, teams fall into false harmony. They avoid the real conversations. They make slower, safer decisions because no one’s willing to risk honesty. They lose their spark, their edge, their courage.

When leaders step into the arena with a horse, they’re often surprised by how quickly those patterns surface.

• A leader reluctant to ask for help struggles to ask a horse to move.
• A leader who overcontrols finds the horse resisting.
• A leader who avoids conflict freezes the moment the horse pushes a boundary.

The behaviour is different, but the pattern is the same. The arena becomes a mirror—one that can’t be negotiated with.

Sounds scary – but it’s not. It’s empowering!

Working with horses reminds us that vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s clarity. It’s coherence. It’s the willingness to be seen, rather than to perform.

And it takes bravery.

Not the big heroic kind—just the everyday courage to drop the armour for a moment and let your team, your horse, and yourself see what’s actually going on.

Because once vulnerability is on the table, everything else becomes possible:

• real conflict
• real commitment
• real accountability
• real results

The gift horses give leaders is a clean slate – a real chance to change. They don’t hold grudges. They don’t judge your past decisions. They don’t care about your KPIs.

They simply respond.

That immediate, honest feedback gives leaders something rare: the chance to change in real time. The chance to try again. To shift a behaviour, an intention, an approach—and to see instantly what difference it makes.

And when leaders take those lessons back to the office, teams feel it.

• That newfound congruence.
• That willingness to be open.
• That sense of responsibility returning to its rightful place.

When vulnerability returns, leadership stops being about protecting yourself and becomes about serving others again. It becomes noble. It becomes human. And, as Lencioni says, everything else flows from that.

Horses accelerate that shift because they demand authenticity. They make vulnerability practical, embodied, and unforgettable.

And in a world full of constant distractions and uncertainty, that might be the most powerful leadership development tool we have.

“When we work apart, the space between us fills up with assumptions. The only way to keep trust alive is to talk more, not less.”

— Patrick Lencioni, At The Table Podcast

This quote really lands for me — and it beautifully connects to what I see in our equine-assisted leadership sessions. Whether in a team meeting, a relationship, or a round yard with a horse, assumptions are the silent saboteurs of trust.

The Space Between

When humans work apart — physically, emotionally, or even just mentally checked out — we tend to fill in the blanks. We make up stories to explain what someone meant, why they didn’t reply, or what’s really going on.

Sometimes we get it right. More often, we don’t.

In leadership, those little gaps of misunderstanding can grow into wide spaces of mistrust. Lencioni’s advice — to talk more, not less — is a call to bridge that gap with conversation, curiosity, and courage.

What Horses Teach Us About Communication

Now, if we step into the arena for a moment, horses show us something fascinating. They don’t use words at all, yet they communicate constantly — through body language, energy, and intention. Their “conversations” are silent but incredibly clear.

A horse knows in an instant whether another horse means what it says — because its body, breathing, and energy always give it away. There’s no mixed messaging in a herd. Clarity is survival.

Humans, on the other hand, rely heavily on words. We explain, justify, and rationalise. But our bodies — our tone, posture, facial expressions — still broadcast the truth of what we’re really feeling. Horses read this effortlessly. When our words and our body language don’t match, they simply don’t buy it.

Congruence Builds Trust

In equine-assisted learning, we often talk about congruence — that beautiful alignment between what we say, what we do, and what we feel. Horses seek congruence because it helps them feel safe. Humans seek it too, even if we don’t consciously realise it.

When we’re congruent, others can relax around us. When we’re not, people (and horses) pick up on the disconnect, and trust erodes — even if no one can quite put their finger on why.

Talking More — and Listening Differently

So how do we “talk more” in a way that keeps trust alive?

It’s not about filling the air with noise or endless meetings. It’s about genuine connection: asking questions, checking assumptions, and being willing to reveal our intentions.

In the arena, the same applies. A horse doesn’t need us to chatter — they need us to show up authentically. To listen with our whole body. To match our intention with our action.

That’s the sweet spot of communication — where trust lives and assumptions dissolve.

What space in your team or relationships might need a little more honest conversation?

It’s that time of year again — trick or treat! Kids in costumes, sugar highs, and a playful sense of mischief in the air. But when it comes to working with horses, there’s one lesson I’m reminded of every Halloween: you can’t trick a horse.

You can’t fake congruence, you can’t fake confidence, and you certainly can’t fake connection. A horse will see straight through it — long before you even open your mouth.

And as tempting as it might be, you can’t bribe your way into a genuine relationship with treats either. Sure, a handful of carrots might buy you a moment of attention, but it won’t earn you lasting trust or respect.

Just like in leadership — shortcuts don’t build strong relationships.

The Horse’s Wisdom: Presence Over Pretence

Horses are masters of authenticity. They read the truth of how we’re showing up, not the version we’d like them to see.

If we’re anxious but trying to act confident, they’ll sense the inconsistency and become unsettled. If we’re distracted and pretending to be present, they’ll sense the incongruence and not trust us. Horses don’t buy into the mask — they only respond to what’s real.

It’s the same with people. As leaders, our teams can sense when we’re performing instead of leading from authenticity. They might not consciously know why something feels “off”, but they feel it all the same.

No Quick Fix — Building Trust Takes Time

Offering a horse a treat can be a lovely gesture, but it’s not a substitute for the slow, steady process of building trust.

Trust, in the horse paddock and in the workplace, comes from consistency — not convenience.

When you show up with clarity, congruence, and care — day after day — the relationship deepens. The horse begins to follow not because of what’s in your hand, but because of who you are.

That’s leadership. Not command, not manipulation, not transaction — but relationship.

Leadership Lesson: You Can’t Trick Authentic Connection

In equine-assisted leadership sessions, I often see the “trick or treat” moment play out. Someone might try to coax the horse to engage with charm, flattery, or a bit of food. Sometimes it works briefly — but the moment their energy shifts or their intention wavers, the horse disengages.

It’s a beautiful (and humbling) reminder that true leadership isn’t about clever tactics.

It’s about being congruent — aligning what we think, feel, and do.

The horse doesn’t follow the loudest voice or the one with the treats.

It follows the one who’s grounded, clear, and trustworthy.

So This Halloween…

When you hear “trick or treat”, take a moment to reflect on your leadership.

• Are you showing up authentically, or relying on a few “tricks” to influence others?
• Are you building genuine trust, or offering “treats” to keep people happy in the short term?
• Are you leading from integrity — even when no one’s watching?

Because just like a wise old horse, people eventually see through the act.

And when they do, only authenticity — not artifice — will keep the relationship strong.

Leadership isn’t about tricks or treats.

It’s about truth, trust, and the courage to show up as you really are.

And that, my friends, is a lesson horses will teach you every time you walk into the paddock.

“The irony about learning who you can trust is that you usually only learn who you can’t after you already did”

This quote by Doe Zantamata captures something very real — that trust is often learned through pain, not instruction. I’ve experienced this recently and, while disappointing and hurtful, I’ve made a decision to learn from it and not dwell on it.  I’ve always liked that I see the best in people and think that they do the same – but I’ve experienced otherwise. You can’t avoid every disappointment, but you can absolutely learn to recognise early signs that someone’s intentions aren’t genuine. Turning this experience into wisdom is about learning discernment — not building walls, but filters.

Self-awareness is a cornerstone of personal growth, effective communication, and strong leadership. It has two distinct but interconnected dimensions: internal self-awareness (understanding our own values, goals, emotions, strengths, and weaknesses) and external self-awareness (recognising how others perceive us). When these two areas are balanced, we gain clarity about who we are and how we impact the world around us.

Internal Self-Awareness

Internal self-awareness allows us to connect with our inner world—our motivations, passions, and limitations. With it, we can make better decisions, set realistic goals, and build resilience. For example, someone who recognises that they thrive in collaborative environments can actively pursue roles that play to this strength. Without internal self-awareness, however, we risk chasing goals that don’t align with who we really are.

External Self-Awareness

External self-awareness focuses on how others experience us. Leaders, for instance, may believe they are being “direct” when in reality they come across as harsh or intimidating. Honest feedback is crucial here, as it reveals blind spots and helps us understand the ripple effects of our behaviour. Those who develop strong external self-awareness foster trust, collaboration, and psychological safety in their relationships and workplaces.

The Balance Between the Two

The challenge lies in maintaining balance. Overemphasising internal self-awareness can make us self-absorbed, while relying solely on external feedback may cause us to lose authenticity. True self-awareness emerges when we integrate both perspectives—knowing who we are internally while staying open to how others see us. This balance requires humility, curiosity, and a willingness to act on feedback.

Where Equine Assisted Learning Comes In

Horses offer a unique pathway to developing both forms of self-awareness. As highly sensitive, non-judgmental beings, they respond immediately and honestly to human behaviour, providing a kind of feedback that is both powerful and compassionate.

• Internal self-awareness through horses: Working with a horse requires presence, clarity, and emotional regulation. Horses mirror our internal state—if we are anxious, unfocused, or inconsistent, the horse reflects that back to us. This immediate feedback helps participants recognise their emotions, body language, and energy levels, deepening their understanding of themselves.
• External self-awareness through horses: Because horses are attuned to subtle cues, they reveal how our actions and energy are perceived. A person who thinks they are being calm and approachable may find that the horse keeps its distance, signalling a mismatch between intention and impact. This mirrors the human experience: how others perceive us may not always align with how we see ourselves.

Building Awareness Through Action

Unlike traditional feedback, which can feel uncomfortable or judgmental, equine-assisted learning provides experiential feedback in a safe and non-verbal way. Instead of asking “Why do I always struggle in these situations?” participants are encouraged to reflect on “What happened in this interaction with the horse?” and “What can I adjust to create a better connection?” This shift from “why” to “what” transforms self-reflection into constructive action.

The Bigger Picture

Equine assisted learning reinforces the principle that self-awareness is not just about individual growth but about fostering connection, trust, and collaboration. Just as effective leaders put the success of their teams above individual wins, working successfully with a horse requires partnership, respect, and clear communication.

Self-awareness—both internal and external—is a lifelong journey. By working with horses, individuals gain an experiential, embodied understanding of how they show up in the world and how they affect those around them. This balance of self-knowledge and relational awareness not only strengthens personal growth but also enhances leadership, teamwork, and authentic human connection.

Executive coaching has become a vital tool for leaders navigating the complexity, pace, and demands of today’s business environment. It offers a reflective space to develop self-awareness, clarify direction, and refine leadership presence. There are many coaching approaches—and all are—but some go deeper than conversation alone.

One such approach brings leaders out of the boardroom and into the paddock—working with horses as “co-coaches” in the coaching process. This is where powerful transformation begins.

Coaching Beyond Words

Traditional executive coaching often focuses on mindset, goals, and strategies—important areas, no doubt. But many leaders struggle with challenges that live beneath the surface: managing energy, navigating relationships, building trust, and leading with presence.

That’s where equine enhanced executive coaching offers something profoundly different. Horses don’t care about your resume. They respond to how you show up—your energy, intention, and authenticity. They reflect back your inner state with clarity, without judgment.

This makes horses powerful barometers for leadership behaviour, especially in areas that are hard to access through thinking alone.

Why Horses?

Horses are highly attuned to their environment. As prey animals, their survival depends on their ability to read non-verbal cues and respond to emotional congruence. If your body says one thing and your mind says another, a horse will pick up on that dissonance instantly.

In an executive coaching context, this becomes a powerful way to explore:

• Presence and Focus: Are you grounded? Distracted? Fully engaged?
• Energy and Intention: Are you pushing too hard? Holding back?
• Clarity and Communication: Are you setting a clear direction others can follow?
• Authenticity and Alignment: Are you leading from your values? Do your inner and outer expressions match?

These aren’t just concepts. When you work with a horse, you feel them.

A Deeper Coaching Experience

This coaching method blends traditional coaching frameworks with real-time, embodied experiences. Leaders don’t just talk about challenges—they experience them in action and get immediate, non-verbal feedback.

As HR Director Investment Banking, Alice said, “Working with the horse helped me see patterns I hadn’t recognised in myself—where I hesitate, where I overcompensate, and what happens when I lead from a calm, clear place. It made things real in a way that words alone never could.” 

This is especially powerful for executives who are often in high-stakes, high-pressure environments. The horse provides a moment of honest reflection that cuts through noise and helps leaders reconnect to what matters most.

For the Health of the Whole

Whether it’s part of a larger leadership journey or a focused executive coaching engagement, the goal remains the same: to develop leaders who are self-aware, congruent, and able to lead in a way that fosters health, harmony, and effectiveness for themselves and their teams.

Coaching with horses isn’t about being an animal person. It’s about being a whole person. And in a world that increasingly demands agility, empathy, and authentic leadership, it’s an approach that is proving highly effective.