Connecting with others as our bubble expands

 

Like many, I was delighted to hear the announcement of a travel bubble between Australia and New Zealand. And we plan to travel “across the ditch” soon to complete the hands-on component of our training course!  It had me reflecting on how we ease the transition into face-to-face interaction and embrace working directly while retaining the benefits technology has provided. 

 

When the announcement was made of a travel bubble between Australia and New Zealand opening later this month, I was excited. This finally means we can head across the Tasman to complete training we started online for our Kiwi clients.  Hooray! The theory portion is done, but we’ve been waiting to be able to finish in-person training with horses.

Before this all happened, who would’ve thought that international travel would become so restricted that we’d be excited about being able to visit one of our closest neighbours. I can only imagine what it feels like for those with family they haven’t been able to see.

It also reminds me of the specific conundrum we now face – how much do we work together with people, in-person, versus online. It’s great we have so many tools for remote connection and working, but will in-person connection really be replaced, especially as it becomes more available?

A period of adjustment

 

Unsurprisingly, there’s been a lot of commentary about how much we go back to our previous largely office-based roles.

Some employees are dreading going back, worried about losing the work/life balance benefits such as not commuting.  At the same time, employers are starting to come down on either side of the fence about whether they will return to a primarily office based environment – some are in favour, others are not.  Lots are grappling with how to implement a hybrid model.

On top of this, we have to consider how much we’ve changed as a result of not working in the office. We’ve become used to working from home and that changes a lot about our behaviour; I don’t just mean wearing pyjamas, but fundamental shifts in communication, team structure and social lives.

In-person connection will never be 100% replaced, but…

 

My own experience shows that Zoom and other online tools are great, wonderful even. They have kept our business going these last few months and even allowed people to train with us who previously didn’t have the time or means to travel.

But especially one element of our business, Leading Edge Professional Development, will never be able to fully replace that in-person element. For us, it’s for a very simple and practical reason – we need time with horses to complete training and horses can’t use Zoom!

For others, though, it’s a more complicated proposition and one that’s already attracting a lot of time and energy. There’s many questions to consider, such as:

• How much time do we really need with each other as colleagues?
• Can we retain a sense of being a team if we’re never in the same place?
• How can we effectively lead people we aren’t physically near?
• Do we need to visit clients in person to really connect?
• How much talking through a screen can we really take?
• Will working at a non-ergonomically approved desk have long-term impacts on our health?
• Aren’t we all sick of fake Zoom backgrounds? (haha).

And, then add to that the potential for isolation – something we’re all familiar with after the past year. For the majority of us, having some human contact throughout our working day is necessary. Humans have a natural instinct to live in herds – just like horses.  As someone who runs their own business (albeit alongside my business partners), I know in those weeks when I’m working on my business rather than training, I can start to feel isolated. It definitely worsens the feelings of anxiety I described last week.

It’s certainly a leadership challenge of our time!

Perhaps the answer will be something completely. Maybe we’ll see a resurgence of local communities, where instead of travelling to our workplace all the time to be part of a tribe, we will work alongside those who are nearby? Power to the humble local coffee shop…

And, of course fundamental leadership skills are going to be more important than ever – self-awareness, trust and compassion to name a few – as we negotiate our new workplaces.

Any kiwi friends out there keen to hear more about our unique leadership training? Email us at info@lepd.com.au for information.

Recognising and Embracing Diverse Communication Styles = Happier Teams

There has never been a more crucial time than now to ensure our teamwork and communication is up to scratch as we work remotely and navigate new technologies. In the second of a three-part series, we look at identifying communication types in colleagues and how to use this knowledge to create more effective and much happier teams.

 

Team dynamics are often difficult to negotiate – I should know, as I spend most of my professional life helping them to improve!

And now, in the age of social distancing, which for many of us means remote working, we have the added complication of not being physically nearby others. This means trying to negotiate body language and social queues over video conferencing and other technology.

As I wrote in my previous blog, this series discusses different communication styles and how we can draw on them to improve our interactions while in isolation (and beyond). Last week, we looked at understanding our personal communication style. This week, we’re looking further at how recognising and understanding the communication types of others improves a team’s functionality and efficiency. Next week, I will look at combining an understanding and awareness of your own communication style with recognising the communication styles of others to lead with confidence, consciousness and compassion.

 

Working with different communicators

Working with horses teaches us a lot about individual and group communication, particularly learning to pick up and interpret non-verbal signs.

As a prey animal, a horse has highly astute senses meaning that they sense everything way before we do – you cannot hide behind any façade or persona around a horse, they see right through it. And their sheer size means you cannot help but notice their responses to you. So, if you are open to it, they can teach you so much about how others respond to you.

For example, a horse yawning may mean they are relaxed and releasing. For people, this may be a sign they need to do the same. Licking and chewing means they are processing information or new experiences, meaning the human needs to give them that space to think. You know it’s like when you need some time to process and digest information.  And, if a horse is using a person as a scratching post, it’s a sign they may not be setting firm boundaries.

As we explored last week, we all have our own communication styles and to identify these in our leadership courses, we use the MiRO assessment. There are four main types of communicator:

 

• Driver, who wants to get the job done
• Energiser, who wants everyone else to feel good
• Organiser, who knows everyone’s roles and makes it clear what everyone should be doing
• Analyser, who needs to gather all the information

 

We are each made up of all four components but most of us have one or two dominant styles. Self-understanding is critical, but equally important is to learn to recognise the style of the others in our team.

 

Recognising the communication styles of others to improve team functioning

 

Obviously, teams can and do function effectively with any combination of communication styles. But what emerges in many of the leadership programmes here at Leading Edge Life Skills is that teams are being held back from reaching their full potential by a lack of awareness and understanding of the individual communication types within the group.

 

So where is the disconnect? The key is firstly recognising these individual nuances in communication styles and secondly accepting and embracing these differences for the value they bring to team dynamics.

 

I’ll set the scene for you of one of our typical leadership workshops and give an example of what I’m talking about. Our client groups are tasked with completing a number of obstacle type exercises in an area with a horse as a team member. Firstly, we divide the client group into teams of two or three people, typically randomly to create a situation that can happen in the workplace. Secondly, they choose one of our horses to join their team, thus introducing a brand new and very different team member into the dynamic. Thirdly, our exercises are deliberately vague allowing for interpretation and creative problem-solving. Lastly, the exercise is timed.

 

During an emerging leaders programme for a not-for-profit organisation last year, one team was made up almost entirely of analysers. They started out by discussing the first task. A good inclusive tactic, however with no one particularly focused on action, they took so long that they were not getting through the exercise at all. It took our usually very patient horse, Vinnie, himself an analyser, to get things moving. Atypical of Vinnie, he nudged a couple of the team members with his head – gently pushing them forward – as a clear sign for the team that they needed to make a start. Vinnie had stepped out of his comfort zone and into the driver mode, which really resonated with one participant, Steven, and snapped him into action. Afterwards, during the debrief, Steven remarked that Vinnie made him realise that he needs that “shove” as he often finds himself stuck in the detail and preparation, resulting in periods of procrastination at work. He also found that stepping out of his own comfort zone was actually empowering.

 

This example demonstrates how an awareness of our own and our colleagues communication styles can help teams move past challenges and pitfalls in the workplace. In recognising the team was made up of analysers, Steven was able to move into a more direct, action based style to help get the team moving forward on the right path.

 

So how can this help your teams, particularly in a remote working environment? Have a think about any challenges with projects that your team is working on. Perhaps you are not moving forward like Steven and his team. Perhaps the opposite, all action with less planning? Now consider this against the communication styles of your team members.

 

Hopefully this gives you some insight into how communication styles play into group dynamics and the ways in which it can help when remote working. Perhaps try thinking of a couple of colleagues and trying to discern their style.

 

We’re currently running a special on MiRo assessments, so if you’d like some more information please comment below or email info@leadingedgelifeskills.com.au

 

We also launched a poll on communication styles which you can answer below if you haven’t already!

 

 

The strength in understanding your communication style

 

We are all well aware of the vital role that non-verbal communication plays in our social interactions. How then does the ‘new normal’ of being physically further away, impact the effectiveness of our communication with our colleagues and friends? How do we adjust our body language and awareness of ourselves and others when speaking?

Understanding different communication styles can be a big help. What style resonates with you? Are you a Legs, Kylie, Opal or Bart?

 

I don’t know about you, but for me, an hour on a video conference feels like two hours of normal time! And it’s tricky to negotiate social dynamics, like knowing when to speak or voice an opinion.

Of course, it’s to be expected that new platforms for communication present fresh challenges, but I’ve found it interesting to think further about what it is that can leave me feeling so drained.

 

As this article from the BBC says, one reason we get tired in video calls is we have to work harder to read facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language in order to maintain effective communication.

 

The importance of body language is common knowledge. Now-famous research by Albert Mehrabian claimed 93% of human communication is non-verbal. Yet, because people are so obsessed with speaking (and on the whole terrible at listening) we might not even be aware of some of the ways we really do communicate with others. The increased use of online communication technology is highlighting this fact but also perhaps giving us a push towards being more cognizant of how to effectively communicate with others.

So, as we try to adapt to communicating remotely, I’ve decided to spend the next three weeks running a series around different communication styles:

1. Understanding your own communication style and using this awareness to improve our interactions with others
2. Recognising the communication styles of others in order to be more empathetic and work better together
3. Combining 1 and 2 to lead with confidence, consciousness and compassion

Understanding your communication style

So, what do I mean when I say communication style?

As mentioned in a previous blog, we use the MiRo communication style assessment in our leadership programmes. We have found it a really useful tool as it helps us understand that each and every one of us has our own innate style. It explains why we each respond differently to life’s challenges and why we have no place judging others.

According to the MiRo assessment, there are four main communication styles; driver, energiser, organiser and analyser. While an effective leader has the flexibility to draw from all styles as needed, we generally have one or two that dominate. Learning to recognise these styles in ourselves helps us to interact and better negotiate the social dynamics of our team – both in face-to-face and remote working situations.

 

Which communicator are you?

I thought it would be fun use the MiRo model to profile some of our horses.  See if you can pick one or two that you think are your most dominant communication types and help you work better with others:

1. Legs is a real driver. He just wants to get the job done and will happily take the lead. However, he’ll also be led when he feels there’s a strong manager.

If you identify with Legs, then your strengths are that you take action, are results-orientated, a self-starter and a risk-taker. However, you may have to work on an impulse to push against authority, take on too much and become bored with routine!

2. Kylie is the energiser of the group. This beautiful, empathetic team member wants everyone else to feel included. However, it’s important to remember she needs to feel valued herself.

If you feel you resonate with Kylie, then you’re likely to be a creative problem-solver, great at encouraging and motivating others and a peacemaker. Remember on the other hand you may have a tendency to prefer popularity over tangible results, lack focus on details and be a selective listener.

3. Opal is the organiser. She maintains an excellent overall view of everyone’s roles and makes sure they are all clear on what they need to do and where they need to be.

If you’re a bit Opal, then your teammates probably like you for being reliable, dependable and loyal, as well as being patient, a good listener and great at handling conflicts. Just watch out for potential growth areas like needing time to adjust to change, being sensitive and holding grudges, and finding it difficult to establish priorities.

4. Bart is the analyser.  He needs to know all the facts in order for him to feel comfortable. Don’t try and get anything past this guy – you can’t fool him!

The great thing about having some Bart in your communication style is that you’re likely to be thorough, conscientious and grounded in reality. You are excellent at gathering and testing information. Just be aware that this means you can become overwhelmed by detail and can prefer not to verbalise your feelings.

So…how does the MiRo assessment relate to working with horses for professional development, you may well be wondering? Our clients tell us that it is one thing to read a report and another to experience firsthand what this really means – and this is where the horses come in.

Horses are the ultimate barometer by which to measure your communication style. They provide immediate and totally honest and unbiased responses to each individual they come in contact with – they do not know whether you are the CEO or an intern – they only know how you make them feel. If they do or don’t feel comfortable, they let you know. They literally bring your communication style to life and show how it is received by others.

During one of our women’s leadership workshops, an investment bank executive, Nicki, was working with our horse, Bart. When Bart planted his feet and refused to move, she was perplexed as she, “had always done things the same way.” Not being able to pull rank on Bart – you can’t budge an unwilling 500 kg teammate – she had to change the way she was asking him to work with her. Nicki was able to relate this experience back to her workplace and why she doesn’t always get the best from her team. It was a lightbulb moment for her. Experiencing an immediate positive change in such a short timeframe closes that learning loop with real and lasting impact.

Which communicator are you? Let me know in the poll below! And stay tuned for next week’s blog on how to use this knowledge of communication styles to better work with others.

To subscribe to more updates and leadership tips from Leading Edge Life Skills, please comment below to ask to be added or email info@leadingedgelifeskills.com.au

 

 

 

Busyness and Connection: Reflections on lessons learnt this Easter

 

No matter how you normally spend your four-day weekend, it was likely this one was a bit different. What did you learn from the experience of being home over Easter 2020?

 

Easter 2020 was a bit of a different experience for me, and I suspect it may have been for you too.

For many of us, whether Easter holds religious significance or not, it’s usually a time when we do something. Go camping, go to church, see extended family or head for a night out with friends.

Personally, as a Sydney resident and horse enthusiast, this holiday is normally taken up by the Royal Easter show, where my daughter competes. The iconic Easter Show was cancelled this year, for the first time since the Spanish flu pandemic in 1919, which in itself is a big change for the residents of our city who attend the show in their hundreds of thousands every year.

Instead, with social distancing in full force, we spent the entire four-day weekend at home as a family.

A week on, I’ve had a chance to reflect on the meaning of this enforced togetherness what it meant to have our usual plans interrupted.

Here are a few things I learnt.

Slowing down

It’s easy to understand why, when we work hard and only have limited annual leave in which to experience what the world has to offer, we feel the need to put a four-day break to ‘good use’.

There’s nothing wrong with this, as such, but we do tend to forget what it’s like not to rush around. To slow down and relax.

Our society’s obsession with ‘busyness’ is one that has been reflected on by social commentators, and named as a contributor to our levels of stress and anxiety. If my daughter is anxious before competing, her horse will make her stop and take a breath. He literally shoves his huge head into her torso and demands a cuddle. Once she stops, breathes, laughs and, yes, gives him a cuddle, she can continue to prepare him and herself for the competition. It is so beautiful!

Being forced to stay home and slow down might actually remind us it’s good to do not much sometimes – just to stop, breath and enjoy the moment. 

Connecting again

An effect of slowing down is also the chance to reconnect with those in our lives. I was heartened to hear a friend talking about how his family had enjoyed being together at Easter. His son is a highly accomplished soccer player and there are always games to travel to over Easter. This year, however, they were able to enjoy the break all together for the first time in years.

A huge part of my role as a leadership coach with horses is staying connected with my herd. Afterall, how could I do a good job when my effectiveness relies on reading the responses of my individual herd/team members, if I do not know my team. Now, horses know that humans are not horses, but just as with any team, I cannot ignore them at the moment because we are not hosting clients due to the pandemic and then expect their respect and focus when I need it again. That would be unfair and arrogant of me. So, I took the time over the Easter break to connect with my equine team members without any pressure. I made a conscious effort to just hang out with them, totally on their terms with no expectations, no agenda, just enjoy being together and bonding. I do not know when we will be allowed to welcome clients again, but I do know that I want my team – my equine family – feeling safe and happy in their roles when we can operate as usual again.

Isn’t this the same for our family members and our teams at work? A true connection creates trust and loyalty and a feeling of safety and being valued for family, friends and colleagues alike.

I hope that wherever you spent the break it helped you reconnect with others, whether that be a family meal, enjoying the company of your partner, chats with friends or watching a good movie!

Uncovering authenticity and self-truth

Since Easter, I’ve been thinking about the longer-term implications of what all these realisations mean. And I think it’s what I call making the invisible, visible.

Sometimes, I see this happen to people in our training courses. I call it their ‘personal aha moment’ – when a horse allows them to see whatever it is that’s been buried inside.

One person’s ‘aha moment’ particularly struck a chord with me during one of our emerging leaders programmes. A young manager, Jack, from a consumer goods company, had been having trouble leading his team as he kept trying to make them do things. Through working with our horse, Vinnie, he learnt a different way of leadership. Vinnie refused to be pushed around, literally planting his feet and there was no way, this young man could budge a 500kg team member. Jack needed to work with and listen to Vinnie and his other team members’ feedback to achieve the desired outcome as a team. That day he learnt about respect and empathy. During our debrief, he actually became tearful and said he’d realised that, “ love was more powerful than force.”  A big breakthrough, don’t you think?

It might just be possible that this social distancing can push similar discoveries about ourselves to the surface.

I hope we can all come away from this experience with an appreciation for those occasional quiet moments in our life, as well as some authentic connection with others and ourselves!

Did you realise anything over the Easter long weekend? What lessons can we learn? Tell us in the comments. And to subscribe to more updates and leadership tips from Leading Edge Life Skills, please comment below to ask to be added or email info@leadingedgelifeskills.com.au

 

 

 

Social distancing has the potential to affect everyone’s state of mind – so how can leaders help others and themselves remain present and focus on the positives?

As we embark on week four of stringent social distancing regulations, changes we previously would have found hard to imagine have become our new normal.

My colleagues, clients, business associates, family and friends are facing challenges. Some have lost their jobs. Some are working out how to adapt their businesses. Others are struggling to balance working and helping with schooling from home.

Never has it been so important to look after each other (and ourselves) than during this unusual time.

There was an excellent article released by BCG during the week which calls on leaders to be human first, which means engaging with employees on a personal level and being sympathetic to their situation.  Vital to this is the ability to remain present and mindful as we navigate our leadership responsibilities. The more we are able to do so, the more effective we will be when connecting with our teams, inspiring them to remain strong and united.

The value of presence

Presence is a topic you may have heard me talk about before. It is essential for high functioning teams. And something we discuss at length in our leadership programmes.

A couple of weeks ago I shared a story about my lovely horse Opal and how she taught me a valuable lesson about presence when I was distracted while working with her. Our equine team members demonstrate the importance of presence on a daily basis: if people aren’t truly present when working with horses, they will invariably respond accordingly. They may become disinterested, refuse to engage  or simply walk away. Have you noticed that when your mind wanders while you are with your team, your partner or kids they can intuitively tell and react in different ways?

At the beginning of all our programmes, we discuss the importance of presence and encourage everyone to stay in the moment. We often begin with a simple breathing exercise, an effective mindfulness tool that allows participants to focus on the present, setting the tone for their work with the horses.

This is a simple technique that can be easily used to start off virtual meetings to bring the team together and focused.

We also structure our programmes in line with evidence-based research that recommends frequent breaks to ensure information and learning can be digested in an effective way. A 2020 Forbes article quotes author Hortense le Gentil, who says, “breaks allow you to check in with yourself and refuel. Checking in helps you align with yourself as you step back, get some distance, remind yourself of your ‘why,’ and examine whether your thoughts, your words and your actions are congruent.”

Active listening is another way to make sure you’re present with someone. Too-often, we listen to others only to answer. Active listening is a learned skill that can be developed over time. It involves putting in effort to hear what others are really saying.

Be conscious of those around you

As I said in my blog a few weeks ago, humans and horses naturally exist in ‘herds’ which goes back to our base needs for comfort, safety and protection.

Being conscious of those around them is vital  in a herd; if one member is distracted it has the potential to compromise the comfort and safety of the whole herd. So too is this awareness of others vital in our workplaces.

We see this all the time during our programmes, where the human team members focus on each other, forgetting they have another teammate – namely the horse they are working with.  The sheer size of this teammate usually ensures that he or she won’t be left out for long as it is hard to ignore a 600kg colleague!  During one of our emerging leaders workshops, our horse Darcy started picking up the equipment in the arena in his mouth. It is like when a member of your team is not engaged and so starts to play on their phone!  

Everyone’s self-isolation will look different. Some (me!) are in a house full of partners, kids and parents, so for us it’s about co-existing in the same space. Others who live alone may have different challenges.

I try to find positives; this is the most I’ve had my husband home in years. And my children. That makes it an opportunity to slow down and reconnect with my ‘herd’. Find new ways to have fun with those you’re at home with and embrace technology that allows us to link up with others outside your home.

From a work perspective I’ve loved participating in fun, supportive virtual meetings with business associates here and around the world. Check-in with your colleagues and team members. Are there individuals who are feeling isolated and alone? How can you and the team support them?

Look after yourself and others

Working, caring for family, reaching out to friends…. it probably feels like there’s so much to do right now. It’s hard to stay present when your mind is buzzing with the next task on your to-do list. Even if you’re not that busy, you might be suffering mental strain from the sudden change in routine.

Beyond Blue has great resources for coping with the current crisis, one of these being the use of Mindfulness tools. Mindfulness and other forms of meditation have been scientifically proven to be among the most effective techniques to reclaim that headspace. As mentioned above, we regularly use mindfulness techniques in our programmes. How can you as a leader encourage the use of these tools for your teams (and yourselves!)?

I’ve found the extra time with my horses, without having our client programmes, has helped maintain and strengthen our connection, trust and skill set. I am actually grateful for this.

If you need some help, there are apps including Headspace and Smiling Mind to name a couple which can help with mindfulness exercises.

And finally: cut yourself some slack on the bad news. It’s easy to spend all day on Facebook reading articles, seeing pictures of toilet paper hoarding or feeling guilty because a friend keeps posts photos of her home school efforts (which look better than yours). Use apps such as Forest to stay focused, off your smartphone and in the moment.

 

What are your tips for staying present and mindful? Let us know in the comments. And to subscribe to more updates and leadership tips from Leading Edge Life Skills, please comment below to ask to be added or email info@leadingedgelifeskills.com.au