It’s that time of year again — trick or treat! Kids in costumes, sugar highs, and a playful sense of mischief in the air. But when it comes to working with horses, there’s one lesson I’m reminded of every Halloween: you can’t trick a horse.
You can’t fake congruence, you can’t fake confidence, and you certainly can’t fake connection. A horse will see straight through it — long before you even open your mouth.
And as tempting as it might be, you can’t bribe your way into a genuine relationship with treats either. Sure, a handful of carrots might buy you a moment of attention, but it won’t earn you lasting trust or respect.
Just like in leadership — shortcuts don’t build strong relationships.
The Horse’s Wisdom: Presence Over Pretence
Horses are masters of authenticity. They read the truth of how we’re showing up, not the version we’d like them to see.
If we’re anxious but trying to act confident, they’ll sense the inconsistency and become unsettled. If we’re distracted and pretending to be present, they’ll sense the incongruence and not trust us. Horses don’t buy into the mask — they only respond to what’s real.
It’s the same with people. As leaders, our teams can sense when we’re performing instead of leading from authenticity. They might not consciously know why something feels “off”, but they feel it all the same.
No Quick Fix — Building Trust Takes Time
Offering a horse a treat can be a lovely gesture, but it’s not a substitute for the slow, steady process of building trust.
Trust, in the horse paddock and in the workplace, comes from consistency — not convenience.
When you show up with clarity, congruence, and care — day after day — the relationship deepens. The horse begins to follow not because of what’s in your hand, but because of who you are.
That’s leadership. Not command, not manipulation, not transaction — but relationship.
Leadership Lesson: You Can’t Trick Authentic Connection
In equine-assisted leadership sessions, I often see the “trick or treat” moment play out. Someone might try to coax the horse to engage with charm, flattery, or a bit of food. Sometimes it works briefly — but the moment their energy shifts or their intention wavers, the horse disengages.
It’s a beautiful (and humbling) reminder that true leadership isn’t about clever tactics.
It’s about being congruent — aligning what we think, feel, and do.
The horse doesn’t follow the loudest voice or the one with the treats.
It follows the one who’s grounded, clear, and trustworthy.
So This Halloween…
When you hear “trick or treat”, take a moment to reflect on your leadership.
- Are you showing up authentically, or relying on a few “tricks” to influence others?
- Are you building genuine trust, or offering “treats” to keep people happy in the short term?
- Are you leading from integrity — even when no one’s watching?
Because just like a wise old horse, people eventually see through the act.
And when they do, only authenticity — not artifice — will keep the relationship strong.
Leadership isn’t about tricks or treats.
It’s about truth, trust, and the courage to show up as you really are.
And that, my friends, is a lesson horses will teach you every time you walk into the paddock.
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